STAND UP TO SUICIDE: WHY YOUR STORY MATTERS
May 12, 2014…
A date that will forever standout in my mind…
Because it’s the day I learned something that would change my whole life.
But before I tell you, I want to ask you a question… have you ever seen the movie The Outsiders?
It’s a movie about young boys in rural Oklahoma who form rival gangs.
At one point in the story, one of the little boys is fatally wounded.
And as the boy is laying in the hospital about to die, he’s visited by his best friend Pony Boy.
In the scene, the dying boy, Johnny, references a time when the two boys were hiding out in an abandoned church from law enforcement…
When Pony Boy recited an old Robert Frost poem to Johnny called Nothing Gold Can Stay.
The last line of that poem reads “Nothing gold can stay”… meaning that all good things must come to an end.
It was a pivotal moment in the movie and an ode to how youth turns to age and age becomes death.
Now dying in the hospital, Johnny looked at a Pony and said “Stay Gold, Pony Boy” right before he passes away.
When my best friend Dustin got Stay Gold tattooed on his knuckles I thought 2 things:
- What the hell does that mean?? (I had never seen the movie then)
2. That’s SO cool you got knuckle tattoos, but I could never do it.
You see, Dustin and I grew up in the same home town, but were 5 years apart in school.
I actually didn’t up meeting him until I was 23 and living out in San Diego.
It was pretty dark times for me back then. I was at the height of my drinking and cocaine addictions.
And I had just tried to commit suicide a couple months before. But since it didn’t work, I became ashamed, embarrassed and angry.
I went into destructive party mode, and to be honest, can’t believe I’m alive today.
That’s when I meet Dustin. Truly a one of a kind guy. He’s short, skinny, and so punk rock.
But he had a big voice, courage, and the heart of a lion. He was never too busy to stop and listen, or to give support, or to pick you up when you were down.
He ALWAYS led from his heart. Even though him or I couldn’t have told you what that phrase even meant back then.
He was the first man to ever say ‘I love you’ out loud to me. And he was the first man to openly cry in front of me.
We had a special bond that I’ve had with VERY few since then. He taught me how to love and how to be vulnerable.
So in January of 2014… tell me why I found it so impossible to pick up the phone and call my friend back?
Because he called me that night, I just let it go to voice mail. When I listened to it, it was Dustin crying, saying he needed some help, and to call him when I could.
But I gotta tell you all… the FEAR and the ANXIETY and the OVERWHELM I felt in my own life was making it undoable. I couldn’t even pick up the phone to make a call to my best friend.
Then fast-forward May 12th 2014, and I get the call…
It’s his sister calling me at 4:40 in the morning…
“Hello?”
“Marshal… Dustin is dead. He [hurt] himself last night. He’s gone.”
I’ll never forget how it felt to get that call.
How it felt knowing what he went thru.
I remember when I tried to kill myself, I had INSTANT regret the moment I did it and there was no turning back.
But I’m fortunate enough to also know what a blessing it feels like to get to wake back up again from that.
Dustin was not.
For many years I beat myself up for not returning that call. For not being their for my best friend.
And that’s when this whole mission for me started. My mission to save a billion lives who save a billion lives with the power of vulnerability and Storytelling.
I know when you’re stuck in fear and anxiety and anger, that it can be hard to take action.
I know when your videos and posts are only getting a few likes or views, that it’s tough to keep believing it matters and it’s worth it.
But I have news for you… IT MATTERS.
YOUR STORY MATTERS.
Someone like me or like Dustin NEEDS your story TODAY.
I don’t care how famous you are or how rich you are… we ALL have problems. We ALL going thru something.
Remember that as you wake up each morning. You have a CHOICE to be a blessing in EVERY moment, to everyone you meet.
That’s why I do what I do.
That’s why I’ve been OBSESSED the last 5 years with understanding why people do or don’t do the things they do or don’t do.
It’s why so many of you have seen me “switch” and go “back and forth” so many times.
Because I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT BEING RICH for the sake of living a fancy life.
I’m rich because I need to help as many Dustin’s and Marshal’s out there as I can.
My best friend may be gone from this physical world, but he’s by my side EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Dustin and I have saved hundreds and hundreds of lives worldwide already.
Two bums from the middle of nowhere Illinois.
And if it’s possible for our story to save so many and touch so many… imagine how many people YOUR story could save?
Someone out there NEEDS to hear yours today. I recommend getting really good at telling your story, and then using your gift to help tell that story to as many souls as possible.
That’s your purpose.
Ya know… I’ve been saying for 6 years I’m going to get Stay Gold tatted on my knuckles one day.
And wouldn’t you know… “one day” finally came.
To Dustin…
I love you bro. So fucking much.
And I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed. But I thank you for giving me the strength everyday to make sure I’m always there for someone he needs us in the future.
I miss you.
I’m going to check in on your shorties soon.
#StayGold 🙏❤️😪
PS If you would like support join me every Sunday for fellowship, meditation, prayer, and expansion: https://www.sacredwarriortribe.co
